Sam-I-Am

The following has been shamelessly inspired by the Dr. Seuss story, Green Eggs and Ham.  Although the style is in the Dr. Seuss format, the words have been inspired by recent local events. Enjoy.

I am Arthur.

I am Sam.

Sam-I-am.









That Sam-I-am!

That Sam-I-am!

I do not like that

Sam-I-am!

Why did you bury

Your heads in the sand?

Why did you do so

Sam-I-am?

We did not do so

Said Sam-I-am.

We should not, would not

Replied Sam-I-am.

You did not respond

To the EPA.

For four long years

Filed their letters away.

Why did you bury

Your heads in the sand?

Why did you do so

Sam-I-am?

We would not, could not

Respond to the EPA.

For four long years

Hoped it would go away.

We did not bury our 

Heads in the sand.

We should not, would not

Said Sam-I-am.

The network computers

You let them die.

Loaded with viruses

Was my reply.

Why did you bury

Your heads in the sand?

Why did you do so

Sam-I-am?

We did not know 

They were obsolete.

We tried to keep this

Off the street.

We would not, could not

Respond to the EPA.

For four long years

Hoped it would go away.

We did not bury

Our heads in the sand.

We should not, would not

Said Sam-I-am.

South Main, South Main

Surely you jest.

For eight long years

You made a mess.

You did not meet

In the street.

You did not meet

In the heat.

You did not meet

In a box.

You did not meet

With a fox.

Why did you bury

Your heads in the sand?

Why did you do so

Sam-I-am?

We looked at pictures

For eight long years.

We tried to settle all your fears.

We chose to meet

When we had something to say.

My how time slips away.

We did not meet

In the street.

Or in the heat.

Or in a box.
Or with a fox.

We did not know 

They were obsolete.

We tried to keep this

Off the street.

We would not, could not

Respond to the EPA.

For four long years

Hoped it would go away.

We did not bury

Our heads in the sand.

We should not, would not

Said Sam-I-am.

Deal with blight.

That's what we said.

We gave you the money,

Said go ahead.

My mouth formed a frown,
While wearing a crown,
When the newsman relayed
That nothing came down.

Why did you bury

Your heads in the sand?

Why did you do so

Sam-I-am?

Believe me, believe me

We talked about blight.
In one of our heads
There was a bright light.
Hear what we say, hear what we say
Do nothing at all
'Til post Election Day.

So we chose to wait

By a gate, with a plate,

Without a date.

We looked at pictures

For eight long years.

We tried to settle all your fears.

We chose to meet

When we had something to say.

My how time slips away.

We did not meet

In the street.

Or in the heat.

Or in a box.
Or with a fox.

We did not know 

They were obsolete.

We tried to keep this

Off the street.

We would not, could not

Respond to the EPA.

For four long years

Hoped it would go away.

We did not bury

Our heads in the sand.

We should not, would not

Said Sam-I-am.

The taxes, the taxes

Where did they go?

They were not collected

As far as we know.

The money ensures this town will survive.

It's what helps keep the city alive.

Why did you bury

Your heads in the sand?

Why did you do so

Sam-I-am?

We did not collect them?

That's news to us.
We really don't understand
All the fuss.
A million in lost revenue
Is a drop in the bucket in
Our point of view.

Believe me, believe me

We talked about blight.
In one of our heads
There was a bright light.
Hear what we say, hear what we say
Do nothing at all
'Til post Election Day.

So we chose to wait

By a gate, with a plate,

Without a date.

We looked at pictures

For eight long years.

We tried to settle all your fears.

We chose to meet

When we had something to say.

My how time slips away.

We did not meet

In the street.

Or in the heat.

Or in a box.
Or with a fox.

We did not know 

They were obsolete.

We tried to keep this

Off the street.

We would not, could not

Respond to the EPA.

For four long years

Hoped it would go away.

We did not bury

Our heads in the sand.

We should not, would not

Said Sam-I-am.

The truth, the truth

Won't you try the truth?

Nothing can hurt you 

When you tell the truth.

Try it, try it

You will see.

Oh Sam-I-am 

Just once for me.

We will not tell the truth at all.

We will not try it

Not at all.

We do not like the truth

Was said.

To tell the truth

Our party's dead.

They stuck to their guns

I watched with dread.

A dark cloud passed

Overhead.

Their team gathered

From miles around.

And their collective

Heads went into the ground.

I walked away,

To my dismay and

Heard them all faintly say:

We did not collect them?

That's news to us.
We really don't understand
All the fuss.
A million in lost revenue
Is a drop in the bucket in
Our point of view.

Believe me, believe me

We talked about blight.
In one of our heads
There was a bright light.
Hear what we say, hear what we say
Do nothing at all
'Til post Election Day.

So we chose to wait

By a gate, with a plate,

Without a date.

We looked at pictures

For eight long years.

We tried to settle all your fears.

We chose to meet

When we had something to say.

My how time slips away.

We did not meet

In the street.

Or in the heat.

Or in a box.
Or with a fox.

We did not know 

They were obsolete.

We tried to keep this

Off the street.

We would not, could not

Respond to the EPA.

For four long years

Hoped it would go away.

We did not bury

Our heads in the sand.

We should not, would not

Said Sam-I-am.

That Sam-I-am!

That Sam-I-am!

I do not like that

Sam-I-am!