Monday, August 17, 2015

Sam-I-Am

The following has been shamelessly inspired by the Dr. Seuss story, Green Eggs and Ham.  Although the style is in the Dr. Seuss format, the words have been inspired by recent local events. Enjoy.




I am Arthur.










I am Sam.
Sam-I-am.









That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like that
Sam-I-am!

Why did you bury
Your heads in the sand?
Why did you do so
Sam-I-am?

We did not do so
Said Sam-I-am.
We should not, would not
Replied Sam-I-am.

You did not respond
To the EPA.
For four long years
Filed their letters away.
Why did you bury
Your heads in the sand?
Why did you do so
Sam-I-am?







We would not, could not
Respond to the EPA.
For four long years
Hoped it would go away.
We did not bury our 
Heads in the sand.
We should not, would not
Said Sam-I-am.

The network computers
You let them die.
Loaded with viruses
Was my reply.
Why did you bury
Your heads in the sand?
Why did you do so
Sam-I-am?













We did not know 
They were obsolete.
We tried to keep this
Off the street.
We would not, could not
Respond to the EPA.
For four long years
Hoped it would go away.
We did not bury
Our heads in the sand.
We should not, would not
Said Sam-I-am.

South Main, South Main
Surely you jest.
For eight long years
You made a mess.
You did not meet
In the street.
You did not meet
In the heat.
You did not meet
In a box.
You did not meet
With a fox.
Why did you bury
Your heads in the sand?
Why did you do so
Sam-I-am?






We looked at pictures
For eight long years.
We tried to settle all your fears.
We chose to meet
When we had something to say.
My how time slips away.
We did not meet
In the street.
Or in the heat.
Or in a box.
Or with a fox.
We did not know 
They were obsolete.
We tried to keep this
Off the street.
We would not, could not
Respond to the EPA.
For four long years
Hoped it would go away.
We did not bury
Our heads in the sand.
We should not, would not
Said Sam-I-am.

Deal with blight.
That's what we said.
We gave you the money,
Said go ahead.
My mouth formed a frown,
While wearing a crown,
When the newsman relayed
That nothing came down.
Why did you bury
Your heads in the sand?
Why did you do so
Sam-I-am?









Believe me, believe me
We talked about blight.
In one of our heads
There was a bright light.
Hear what we say, hear what we say
Do nothing at all
'Til post Election Day.
So we chose to wait
By a gate, with a plate,
Without a date.
We looked at pictures
For eight long years.
We tried to settle all your fears.
We chose to meet
When we had something to say.
My how time slips away.
We did not meet
In the street.
Or in the heat.
Or in a box.
Or with a fox.
We did not know 
They were obsolete.
We tried to keep this
Off the street.
We would not, could not
Respond to the EPA.
For four long years
Hoped it would go away.
We did not bury
Our heads in the sand.
We should not, would not
Said Sam-I-am.

The taxes, the taxes
Where did they go?
They were not collected
As far as we know.
The money ensures this town will survive.
It's what helps keep the city alive.
Why did you bury
Your heads in the sand?
Why did you do so
Sam-I-am?













We did not collect them?
That's news to us.
We really don't understand
All the fuss.
A million in lost revenue
Is a drop in the bucket in
Our point of view.
Believe me, believe me
We talked about blight.
In one of our heads
There was a bright light.
Hear what we say, hear what we say
Do nothing at all
'Til post Election Day.
So we chose to wait
By a gate, with a plate,
Without a date.
We looked at pictures
For eight long years.
We tried to settle all your fears.
We chose to meet
When we had something to say.
My how time slips away.
We did not meet
In the street.
Or in the heat.
Or in a box.
Or with a fox.
We did not know 
They were obsolete.
We tried to keep this
Off the street.
We would not, could not
Respond to the EPA.
For four long years
Hoped it would go away.
We did not bury
Our heads in the sand.
We should not, would not
Said Sam-I-am.

The truth, the truth
Won't you try the truth?
Nothing can hurt you 
When you tell the truth.
Try it, try it
You will see.
Oh Sam-I-am 
Just once for me.

We will not tell the truth at all.
We will not try it
Not at all.
We do not like the truth
Was said.
To tell the truth
Our party's dead.

They stuck to their guns
I watched with dread.
A dark cloud passed
Overhead.
Their team gathered
From miles around.
And their collective
Heads went into the ground.




I walked away,
To my dismay and
Heard them all faintly say:




We did not collect them?
That's news to us.
We really don't understand
All the fuss.
A million in lost revenue
Is a drop in the bucket in
Our point of view.
Believe me, believe me
We talked about blight.
In one of our heads
There was a bright light.
Hear what we say, hear what we say
Do nothing at all
'Til post Election Day.
So we chose to wait
By a gate, with a plate,
Without a date.
We looked at pictures
For eight long years.
We tried to settle all your fears.
We chose to meet
When we had something to say.
My how time slips away.
We did not meet
In the street.
Or in the heat.
Or in a box.
Or with a fox.
We did not know 
They were obsolete.
We tried to keep this
Off the street.
We would not, could not
Respond to the EPA.
For four long years
Hoped it would go away.
We did not bury
Our heads in the sand.
We should not, would not
Said Sam-I-am.

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like that
Sam-I-am!


































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