The Letter

Nearly five years ago, the Office of Catholic Schools in the Archdiocese of Hartford was considering closing St. Mary-St. Michael School in Derby.  It has been well-documented that a group of parents stepped up and produced a financial plan which ultimately kept the school open.

An important part of that financial plan was to reach out to our alumni and conduct an Annual Appeal.

Our first attempt at an Alumni Appeal was a success but there was one letter that touched many of us.  I believe that it is fitting to share the story today...on Veteran's Day.

The check box next to the name in the database was clearly marked deceased.  As such, an alumni solicitation letter should have never been sent to the address we had listed.  Two weeks into our first attempt at an Alumni Annual Appeal campaign, our principal (Linda Coppola) was separating the letters that contained checks from those that were returned because of bad addresses.  She noticed an envelope with a North Carolina return address, extracted the letter, and read:

Dear Principal Coppola,

I am writing you to tell you that I have received a mailing from your school but I believe you have me mistaken for another individual.

I did not attend St. Mary-St. Michael School.  I believe you are likely mistaking me for a different Joseph Carinci who once resided in Derby.  I only know of this because I once came upon his name while visiting Washington DC.

Unfortunately, where I came upon his name was while visiting the Vietnam War Memorial Wall.  I did find some interest however in him since he was of the same namesake.  I did some research and found that he died in Vietnam while sustaining injuries while serving our country.

I never found a relationship between us; however I am sure that he must have been of strong character and that likely came from a strong structure in life that he had acquired while attending your school.  He was about six years older than me and will keep him and his family in my prayers as his passing in service to our country must have been a terrible loss.  I have enclosed a document I found on the web referencing his service and death.  Hopefully, this will bring some closure to your record of him.

I have also enclosed a small check of donation to your school in honor of him and his service.  May he rest in peace and be remembered as his life was given on behalf of others in this country who continue to enjoy freedom that men like him have afforded us.

Yours in prayer,

Joseph A. Carinci

Joseph Carinci was a 1965 graduate of St. Mary's School in Derby.  He was one of only 24 dog handlers in Vietnam and had been injured several times before a final severe injury.  He was wounded on August 25, 1970 by shrapnel from a "pressure device mine" in Quang Nam Province, RVN.  He was hospitalized, transferred to Camp Butler, Okinawa, and from there to the Saint Albans Naval Hospital in New York.  Joe died of pneumonia on December 30, 1970.  He is buried in Mount St. Peter's Cemetery in Derby.

Each year as I prepare the Annual Appeal for St. Mary-St. Michael School, I reflect on our friend in North Carolina and on the young man who attended our school so long ago.

Thank you to our Veterans and to those who have given the ultimate sacrifice.

I should also take the time to thank the members of my family who served.

My dad, Arthur C. Gerckens, Jr.  US Navy

My brother, David J. Gerckens  US Marine Corps

My brother, Kevin A. Gerckens  US Marine Corps

My cousin, Michael McCall  US Navy

My father-in-law, Pasquale Altieri US Marine Corps

Valley Women Making a Difference...You Bet!!!

I just returned from a luncheon that honored Valley Women Making a Difference at the Grassy Hill Lodge in Derby.  All of the women being honored both past and present are truly some of the unsung heroes of our Valley community.  I wanted to spend some time focusing on one of those women honored today…Gloriann Albini of Derby.

Gloriann is an incredible role model who has a demanding job as a Nurse Practitioner and yet still finds the time to volunteer her time more than anyone I have ever met.

It was just a little more than two years ago that St. Mary-St. Michael School in Derby was rumored to be closing.  As a result of that rumor, parents pulled their children from the school in order to ensure seats for their children in other private schools.  We watched the school graduate 25 eighth-graders and then saw the enrollment drop to 65 children (in the entire school).

The school was on life support and that is when I saw Gloriann the leader in action.

Before moving on I’d like to distinguish between two types of leaders…positional and transformational leaders.  Positional leaders are not really leaders.  They get to lead because of their job title.  Sure, there are some excellent positional leaders, but I think most people would agree that there are many poor bosses and supervisors out there who know nothing about leadership.  They get to lead because of their position or title in the company.

Transformational leaders are a whole other ball game.  They are the leaders who “get it.”  They lead by example and by the way they conduct themselves.  They have the ability to get others to follow them not because of their title, but because people relate to and believe in them.  It may come as a surprise to discover that some of the greatest leaders are those who lead groups of volunteers.  Try getting people motivated to give up their time and money to do something for free.  It takes an exceptional leader to motivate people when there is very little incentive to do so.  When I first watched Gloriann in action, I knew we had a transformational leader among us.

Gloriann was part of a group of parents who went to Hartford and argued to keep the school open.  She was part of the team that created a financial plan that was accepted by the Archbishop of Hartford.  She was also on the hiring committee that hired the current principal (Linda Coppola).

There was a time when the school was between principals.  One principal was retiring and we were waiting for Mrs. Coppola to arrive.  During this period, Gloriann kept the team focused and guided the team through some rough times.  The Duck Race went on, the school was painted, a Summer Institute was started, and the school remained open.

Fast forward to today.  Not only is the school open, it is thriving.  Despite never writing a grant in her life, Gloriann has now written several grants resulting in thousands of dollars of much needed cash.

Look at the school, we constructed a playground, instituted a drama club, our basketball teams remain competitive and this year we even introduced a new sport, soccer. We’ve secured white board technology, iPads for our students, weekly Bingo, and so much more.

The school sends Facebook updates, Tweets, blogs, and never misses an opportunity to get their message to the community nearly every single day.

Gloriann and her husband George, take care of the grounds of the school.  Every weekend, you can find them cutting the lawn and weeding the garden beds.

To make a long story short, the school has undergone a tremendous transformation and much credit deserves to go to one of our transformational leaders.  We have an active and thriving community of children, parents, teachers, friends, and supporters.  Enrollment today stands at 139 students and is on the rise.

When I reflect on where the school was just a mere two years ago and think about where it is today, I get excited to think about where it is going.

Valley Women Making a Difference…you made an excellent choice by selecting St. Mary-St. Michael School’s own Gloriann Albini for this honor.   

A Helpful Tip for Boardshort Shoppers

I have always liked the California lifestyle. I lived there for a number of years and grew to love the sun and surf.  Some of my best memories are of scuba-diving off the California coast in the great kelp forests and playing beach volleyball after work.  Not only did I like hanging out at the beach, but I also enjoyed California fashion.

I always thought the surfer or beach bum look was cool.  After work, I used to wear all kinds of wild tank tops, tee-shirts, and Vans sneakers.  I had half a dozen pairs of Zubaz genie pants for working out or for stepping out on the town.

Recently, I needed a new bathing suit and discovered a great deal on some O'Neil boardshorts.  Surprisingly, I had never owned a pair of boardshorts and these shorts seemed to be calling my name.

I picked through the selection, looked inside, and realized there was no mesh liner.  This troubled me since I believed boardshorts fell in the bathing suit category.  I was surprised to discover there was no lining.

I immediately took out my smartphone and googled, "Do you wear underwear when wearing boardshorts?"

Seconds later, I had several answers and they all seemed to say the same thing, "...although some men wear boxers under their boardshorts, there is nothing worse than having wet boxers an hour after your boardshorts are dry.  Don't worry, boardshorts are long enough that the wearer will not need to worry about anything being exposed."

This seemed to make perfect sense and I made my purchase.

Later that week, I was at a pool party and everyone was telling me how cool my shorts looked.  After accepting many compliments, I excused myself to use the restroom.

I opened the velcro fly (another feature that seemed like a cool thing to have on a bathing suit) and then realized I was in big trouble.

Apparently, velcro has a nasty habit of clasping onto anything it touches.

After a long and painful lesson, I came to the realization that if a fifty year old man needs to google something before he wears it, he probably has no business wearing it in the first place.

Summer of Bad Golf Update

Today's update is too long to post on Facebook or Twitter, so the update is going to be handled via my blog site.

Several years ago my uncle gave me an old hickory putter from St. Andrews. The club has a wood head, solid hickory shaft, and a leather grip.  I want to restore the club to its original beauty and mount it in my game room, but I've attached one small condition to this goal.  I want to use it to sink a "tap-in" birdie putt.  Once I sink a birdie putt, the plan would be to restore, include the date and details, and mount it on the wall.

Therein lies my problem.  I've been carrying this putter in my bag for over six years.  Each season, the wood gets a little flakier, and the thread holding the leather grips together gets a little more unraveled.  My golf game is so bad, that it's never been outside of my bag.  You see, a tap-in birdie putt is really hard to get (especially from someone with my limited golfing ability).

Well, that all changed this morning.  There was a very short (95 yards or so) par 3 hole at the Stanley Course in New Britain.  I took out my trusty 9-iron and hit what was probably my best golf shot ever.  The ball sailed high and true in the early morning air and looked like it had a chance for a hole-in-one.  Of course, once the ball struck the green and we could still see it, the thoughts of a hole-in-one were erased and I turned my attention to the putt at hand.

My two golfing buddies (who have been witness to some of the worst golf in the history of history) stated to me that it was time to take out the wooden putter.  As we walked to the green, I realized the putt would not be a tap-in.  It had struck in front of the pin and rolled away from the hole about 2 1/2 feet.  Besides being a couple of feet away, I would need to putt uphill and I was reading that the ball would track left to right.  Still it was a very makeable putt.

I argued that this was not a tap-in birdie attempt, so I should just get my regular putter and proceed.  There were protests and my buddies told me that this was the closest I had been in six years, so I might as well go for it.

I agreed.  While they were putting I took out the old putter and practiced.  The first thing I noticed was how weather beaten it had become by sitting in my bag all these years.  Next, I noticed it was much lighter than my normal putter, so I knew I would need to compensate a bit.  When the others finished putting, it was up to me.  I lined up my shot and then addressed the ball.  I took a practice swing and didn't like the way it felt. I walked away and lined up again.

As I slowed my breathing down and focused on the hole, I started my backswing.  In my mind, I was writing the headline to the fans of my Summer of Bad Golf Updates (yes, there are a few people, especially my cousin in Scotland who tells me she enjoys the updates very much) and telling them how I retired the hickory putter.

As the ball slid slightly past the hole, the headline turned into a footnote about how the hickory putter was used for a tap-in par on August 11, 2012.

The Pickleman Speaketh...Dog Ban is a "Cop-Out"

I feel compelled to explain my position as the lone dissenting vote on the recent Derby Dog ban on the Greenway.

Doggone it...my dog is part of my family as are the canines of other families in Derby. Dogs show their love unconditionally.  They greet you when you come home and they follow your every move just begging you to play with them, feed them, walk them or pet them.

Angus will no longer be joining
us for family walks on the Greenway.

I think we could agree that dogs are not the problem...it's the irresponsible dog owners who have made dogs on the Greenway an issue.

We will always have irresponsible dog owners just as we will always have irresponsible smokers, litterers, bike riders, and a number of other irresponsible people using the Greenway.

There are underlying societal issues at the crux of the dog ban that could be be debated. Why do some people feel it's okay to litter (and let's face it, not picking up after your dog is a form of litter)?  I have been in the company of litterers and seemingly rational people who think it's okay to throw trash on the ground because it keeps people employed.  Anyways, I digress.

I maintain that this dog ban is a quality of life issue that has impacted my family and other Derby families.  I made it clear at the Board of Alderman meeting that I would not vote for anything where a government restricts my freedom to live the life I want to live as long as I am not infringing on the rights of other citizens.

The citizens and users of the Greenway have a right to walk a clean Greenway that is not messed with excrement.  Irresponsible dog owners are infringing on the rights of these citizens and should be dealt with accordingly.  How, you may ask?  By enforcing the existing rules that were already on the books.

The easiest thing in the world to do is to make rules.  The challenge lies with the enforcement of those rules.  We have had regulations on the books during the period the Greenway has been open.  The enforcement of existing rules has not been applied.

There are entities who are charged with enforcing the rules of this city.  When asked how many tickets and or fines have been issued, we were told it's impossible to enforce...you need to catch the dog in the act in order to issue an infraction to the owner.

I would suggest that we look to the truck weigh stations and scales on I-95.  The State does not have the money to keep those facilities open 24 x 7 to look for trucking infractions.  The State does open the weigh stations randomly several times a year to keep the truckers guessing.  As a result, the system is not bullet proof, but it keeps most of the renegade truckers operating within the law.

I believe the same approach could have been used on the Greenway.  Had the people charged with the enforcement of existing laws randomly started ticketing irresponsible dog owners, the message would have been received.

By saying the rules were impossible to enforce was a "cop-out."

The Pickleman speaketh...Happy Birthday to my Daughters

It was 12 years ago that my twin daughters entered this world.  And boy did they enter with a splash.  I had decided to take my wife on one last getaway...just the two of us before the girls were born.  It was 6-weeks before her due date.  Against everybody's concerns, I planned a long weekend in Lee, Massachusetts.  The weekend was going to be filled with lounging by the pool and relaxing.

The first evening, my wife was sick all night.  The following morning, I approached her and said that this was probably a bad idea...maybe we should go home.  She said that she was feeling better and would see how she felt later in the day.

The day was relaxing.  We spent our time shopping at the Berkshire Mall and then lounged around the pool for the rest of the afternoon.

I hopped in the shower to get ready for a nice dinner with my wife.  When it was her turn to get ready, she was in the shower for an unusually long time.  When she came out, she said that she thought her water had broke.  Being the compassionate and considerate person that I am, I said, "what do you mean, you think your water broke?"

From that point, Murphy and his famous law kicked in at every opportunity.

We called her OB.  He was out of the office, so we spoke to the on-call physician.  He said to get to the nearest Emergency Room.  I called the front desk of the hotel and asked for the closest hospital.  I was dismayed to hear that it was a 40-minute drive up Route 7 in Pittsfield.

I received the directions and headed with my wife to our brand new mini-van (we had just purchased it in anticipation of the birth of our twins.  It was the type of van that has sliding doors on each side for easy in and out access).

I stopped my wife before letting her in the van and ran back to the room.  You see, it was a brand new car, so I grabbed the towels from the room and covered my new seats...just in case.  It's amazing the little details you can remember in crisis situations.

We made it to Pittsfield.  My wife was taken by the medical personnel while I filled out the paperwork.

When I finally got to see my wife she was crying.  The doctors told us that the twins were coming.  The bad news was that the hospital wasn't equipped to handle high risk premature babies, so my wife would need to be transported by ambulance to Bay State Medical Center in Springfield.  Since I know a thing or two about geography (I was a long haul truck driver in a previous career), I asked how long it would take to get to Springfield. The doctor said about 45 minutes.  My reply, "just wrap her up and I'll get her back home to Connecticut in a little over an hour."

It was at that point, that I realized the seriousness of the situation.  The doctor said, "you don't know how sick your wife is...she could go into convulsions...she needs to go by ambulance to Bay State right now."  My reply..."make it happen."

As soon as I got in the mini-van to follow the ambulance, I realized that my gas tank was on empty.  When you have owned a car for awhile you realize how far you can push the gas gauge.  There was no such luck this time as this was the very first trip we had taken with the van.  I couldn't lose the ambulance and traveled the entire Mass Pike with the light on and bells ringing telling me I was almost out of gas.

While driving, I decided I had better call my in-laws and my family.  Every single member of our families had told me it was a stupid idea to take a person on a trip when they were carrying twins and only 6-weeks from their due date.

We arrived at Bay State and as it turns out, we were at a hospital that was more than capable of handling high risk pregnancies.  They halted my wife's contractions because as it turns out, only Baby A's water had broken. It seems that Baby B wasn't ready to come out.

As my wife went into contractions the next day, the families all started arriving at the hospital.  Baby A was born at 5:02 p.m. and then the labor stopped.  Baby B still didn't want to enter the world.  The doctor's decided that Baby B was coming one way or the other and induced labor.  That night, at 10:19, Baby B finally entered the world and joined her sister in the neonatal unit.

They spent a four days in Massachusetts and then were transported to Yale New Haven for another week of close monitoring and growing.

When their tour of New England had finally ended Baby A (Ashley) and Baby B (Brittany) were brought home nearly 2-weeks after being born.

My message to my two beautiful, bright, and precious daughters...I love you both with all my heart and each day you each make me so proud of you.

And to my readers...the Pickleman speaketh...don't drive on empty, don't take your high risk pregnant wives on trips during their final trimester, don't think you know more than skilled physicians, and don't worry about staining your car seats in emergency situations.  But do love your wife and children every single day.

The Pickleman Speaketh...My QR Code Obsession

QR codes are exploding all around us and I've become obsessed with them and their potential.  QR stands for Quick Response and from someone who oversees a print and mail business, they offer excitement to the sometimes tedious ways direct mail campaigns are operated.  In fact, the opportunities to be creative are only limited by your imagination.  Let's look at an example.

I am going to shamelessly plug the 3rd Annual Derby Dash 5k & Fun Run being held on Saturday, June 25th at 8 a.m. on the Derby Greenway.  Proceeds from the race benefit St. Mary-St. Michael School in Derby.

In the past, we would send a press release to the local newspapers (both print and electronic media), send the information to the various running websites located in the area, print flyers and place them strategically throughout the town.

Let me ask a question...how many of you take a pen and piece of paper with you when you go walking, jogging, or running errands?  More specifically, for those who walk the Derby Greenway, are you carrying pen and paper in hand?  I would expect that a few carry these items, but that most would not.  I would be willing to bet that most people are carrying their cell phones.

There are always notices at the fountain that leads to the Greenway.  Likewise, there are notices in the supermarkets and other places of business we frequent.  If something interests you, you'll need to either borrow a pen and paper, take the flyer, or commit the item to memory.

On our Derby Dash flyer, as always, we included our web site so people can download the registration form.  The form can be found at:

http://smsmduckrace.org/Documents/2011DerbyDashRegistrationForm.pdf

More interesting to me is that we included a QR code that when scanned will download our race registration form in a matter of seconds.  You can then print the form and fill it out at your leisure.  Below is our QR code that will download our 5k race application...go ahead, scan it, but more importantly, fill it out and get your butt out of bed on the 25th and join in the fun.

More examples of my QR code obsession will be available in the weeks to come.